To Be Alone With Sufjan Stevens

I love Sufjan Stevens with a virulent passion. I really want to have his kids. But most of all, I want to be alone with him. If I could only have one thing in life, that would be it. Actually, I’d prefer to find a $20 bill on the ground, but outside of that, I want to be alone with Sufjan Stevens.

Funny enough, Stevens actually wrote a song about being alone with…me! I’m not kidding: "To Be Alone With You" is actually a song by the burgeoning artist. It may not be his most famous song or his best, but boy, it really turns me on.

I'd swim across Lake Michigan
I'd sell my shoes

Personally, this isn’t all that impressive to me. I mean, what good would a pair of shoes do if you are swimming across Lake Michigan? But it gets better.

I'd give my body to be back again
In the rest of the room

Oh Sufjan…I’d love your body.

To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you

Ok, I got the point after the second time you sung that. Just get in bed already.

You gave your body to the lonely
They took your clothes

I’d much rather give my body to you, Sufjan. And you can take my clothes, too.

You gave up a wife and a family
You gave your goals

Yeah, I did have a wife and a family. But then I realized, Sufjan, I want you to be both my wife and my family…you are my goals.

To be alone with me
To be alone with me
To be alone with me
You went up on a tree

Can you come up into my tree, Sufjan? Please?

To be alone with me you went up on the tree
I'll never know the man who loved me

Oh, wait, you’re talking about Jesus Christ. Never mind. Ignore this entire post. I'm not gay, either.