Christmas Ads

It's holiday season, which represents a perfect time for Presidential candidates to continue upon their chosen path of campaigning: ignoring the issues. Luckily, nearly every candidate released a special Christmas advertisement. Like all other campaign advertisements, they are inane and useless, but two in particular struck me as scary. Hillary Clinton's was simply pathetic, while Mike Huckabee's was a bit too genuine not to be scary.

Here's Hillary's Ad

Please. Hillary, please. Stop trying to portray yourself as a caring, motherly figure. You're a cold bitch. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but you're trying to have your cake and eat it too. One day you're the strongman (woman) of the Democratic field, tougher on terrorism than those wimpy men, Obama and Edwards. But now you're just a kindly mother, looking for that one gift lying amidst the clutter?

And speaking of the gifts...could that ad have any more phoniness? Is it too hard to simply say "I'm Hillary Clinton and I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all of you a Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday Season"? Believe me, we've heard enough about universal health care, bringing the troops home (which you don't even want to do in the first place), and all the other issues you not so subtly tried to advance in this ad. Don't overdo it. Most Americans would rather get an iPod for Christmas, anyway.

After bashing Hillary's ad for its phoniness, I'm now going to take a moment to attack Huckabee for an ad that's the direct opposite. His Christmas ad showed America (Well, Iowa, since all other Americans are second-class citizens and don't deserve to choose their nominees) exactly who he is.

I sure as hell hope he doesn't win.

Here's Huckabee's Christmas ad

Before I criticize him too much, I would like to thank Huckabee for not being excessively politically correct. That's refreshing. What's not refreshing is that he's a religious nut.

At this time of year, sometimes it’s nice to pull aside from all of that and just remember that what really matters is the celebration of the birth of Christ and being with our family and friends

No, you Jesus-face, what matters is gifts and commercialization. Where have you been? This is also a tad explicit for my tastes. Merry Christmas is fine - "celebrate the birth of Christ" is not. Is he doing an advertisement or preaching? I doubt have the "Christians" I know who are getting gifts today could tell you about the birth of Christ.

The fact that he refers to this time as "Christmas season" shows who he is - a rural Arkansasan. And guess what? I hate those people. I'd rather have a Mormon.

Well, maybe not. Romney's a jackass.

RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT.

Another one line paragraph.

And another.